Dear Adam, Charlie and Ruby,

When someone is talking, look at them.  Look in their eyes.  Let go of any thoughts in your mind, set down what’s in your hands, and listen to what they are saying.  Give some sort of indication that you hear them – a nod, a quiet “mmmhmmm.”  If and when you reply, your first words should be about what they said not about what you think.

At a talk, a speech, church, or a class, put everything away except something to take notes with.  Use paper and a pen or pencil for your notes.  Taking notes on your phone looks disinterested and distracted to the speaker.  Look at the speaker.  Relax  and make sure your face is open and encouraging.  Honor the speaker with your kindness and attention.

If you are with a teacher or coach, it is especially important to honor their instruction.  Teachers teach from their heart – it’s complicated, personal work.  You bless your teachers when you are teachable and attentive.  When your teacher is finished providing feedback or a lesson, you can ask a question, repeat back what they said, or immediately apply it to practice what they are teaching you.

The reality of our world is constant stimulus, distraction and focus on ourselves.  We are almost always thinking about ourselves or something other than the topic at hand when it’s not our turn to talk.  We interrupt.  We look around.  We look at our phone.  The conditions or our modern world foster these behaviors.  I struggle with this every day myself.  It’s normal.

True listening takes practice.  Practice it.  See the value of each person you have the chance to meet and listen to.  Honor the gift of each teacher, coach and elder.  Learn and love by truly hearing people.

I love you three so very much.

Love,

Mom